you
May 6, 2017 Boracay, Malay, Philippines
Before anything else, I'd like you to know that this is long and very personal so I don't expect you to read the whole post but it would really mean a lot to me if you'll stick with me 'til the end.
Late last year, I made a huge decision which led me to where I am today—almost quarter life crisis. Yikes. I didn't regret it though I had a lot of what-ifs: what if I did not quit? What if I choose the other one? What if I didn't aspire to be part of something great? Or what I thought was something great. Would it all make a difference?
I called myself a fool for trying so hard to be what I want to be and fail at it. I put myself down because I thought, I wasn't good enough. My fear came back. My fear of taking chances, taking risks and taking every possibility in the world to make my dream come true. I blamed other people for that mistake. I was so in denial. And the most painful part of the situation is knowing that I had no one to blame but myself because it was my choice. I chose to be there. I chose to do that. It's all me.
And that didn't stop there. Instead of getting back to my usual grind, I STOPPED CREATING. I just focused on my job. It was okay and involves everyday adrenaline, but I got so comfortable that I didn't bother to read anything, write on my blog and even reply to emails that could possibly lead to great opportunities (I'm really sorry for that). I was a rebel against myself and it's really frustrating the hell out of me.
And whenever I try to get back to my usual grind and do the things I really like, something slaps me to stay away from them. No matter how hard I try to stand up, something is pulling me down. Then one sunny afternoon, I read a newsletter from my email. It says all the things I was feeling since my project went down. It hits me so hard that it made me want to do crazy stuff again.
But you know what, in spite of all the things that happened, I know it was worth the risk. Because that's what I wanted. The project was gone in a flash but I quite found myself. I fell but I stood. I was hurt but now stronger. Getting back up for me was hard, though I'm still at a recovery point, I'm on my way back to where and who I was before this downfall came.
You see, if you're stuck in a situation where you think it's the end, well it's not.
There are people who are willing to help you, even unintentionally like what happened to me, thanks to that newsletter and the person who wrote it, and there are things around you that could get your feet kicking again. You just have to stay focus because most of the time, it's the little things that help us big time!
If you're going through something, do not hesitate to share them in the comments box below or send me an email, let's talk. Or if you don't want to talk, let me just listen. I could be your online friend. I could be your online sister. Promise, I'll reply to you if you want me to :)
And now let's talk about my outfit here. I've always loved the thought of wearing maxi dresses because they look so comfortable and classy. Mine was everything I have imagined it to be. This dress basically caught me because it's very girly and summery. I now have a go-to summer look. What's yours? :)
February 24, 2017
Having a bad day? Read on and these quotes might help you get through the day with a smile.
Disclaimer: I did not write these quotes. I just compiled them from the Internet
2. Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.
3. Go ahead tell me that I’m not good enough tell me I can’t do it because I will show you over & over that I can!
4. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand back up taller than you ever were.
5. When you face difficult times, know that challenges are not sent to destroy you. They’re sent to promote, increase and strengthen you.
6. Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the best things that will ever happen to us.
7. She builds others up because she knows what it’s like to be torn down.
8. Strong women wear their pain like they do with stilettos. No matter how much it hurts, all you see is the beauty of it.
9. Believe in yourself a little more.
10. Do you want to be happy? Let go of what’s gone, be grateful for what remains and look forward to what is coming.
January 23, 2017
I'm not sure how I'll start this post but one thing I'm certain of is that I'm happy to be back here. To be honest, I didn't have a smooth start this year because I need to get things done and everything's going faster than I anticipated. I could almost see a ball of mess coming at me.
I absolutely had no idea what I was getting myself into. Okay, I do have a little idea but... I wasn't ready to leave some things behind, yet. I really hate choosing one thing over something because I fear that I would make the wrong decision. I thought, maybe it's way better if you have no choice at all rather than having too many options. But I took all the opportunities both in my hands in the hopes that I could manage them over time. And just like before, I was wrong.
Since day one of 2017, I knew that I'm quite lost. I'm uninspired. Unmotivated. Bored. Unfocused. And that, I need help, hence my blog absence. You see, I was and still am distracted by what I think others are thinking. But then I realized, I won't get anything out of it so why bother?
It's hard to leave the place you've been comfortable with for almost a year for something that is completely new, challenging, and terrifying. But the thing about it is that you know it's worth risking for because that is what you want in the first place and when you start feeling that itch of doing your own thing, it’s hard to shake it.
The truth about opportunities is that it'll make you crazy inside. It will mess up your mind and create a whole lot of what-ifs.
You don't need to take every opportunity that comes along your way.
Sure it feels great to have all of them laid in front of you but most of them aren't good for you in the long run. The key to being successful is to focus on what you want, stick to it and work hard for it.
Now, I'm here. Shocked and still terrified but bolder, stronger, and braver than ever. The "work" scares me for I think it's too early for me to be here. And I question myself every day if I can really do this. But this has always been me—doing something I was a little not ready to do.
Maybe this is how I grow.
And to cap off this post, I just want to express how happy I am to collaborate with Sheinside again. I'd have to say that this dress has everything I want. The style is very feminine and the color is just what I'm always looking for! Seriously, I'm madly in love with pastel pink. Imagine how excited I was to wear this masterpiece. Perfect for a glam comeback! I think they have an ongoing sale on their site now! Better to check it out. :)
Photos by Pat Velasco
Outfit: Sheinside dress | Zalora heels
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
December 12, 2016
Dear Self,
Take it easy. I know you are going through hard times right now. I'm sure, you are disappointed and sometimes, okay most of the time, feel like a failure and everything is your fault.
But it's not. You are not a failure, in fact, I'm so proud of you for continuing the fight throughout. Though life hasn't given you what you hoped and hasn't turned out the way you thought it would, you manage to get past through them.
Life hasn't been easy on you lately. What I love about you is that, you were able to build a castle from the rocks thrown at you. You have become the strongest person you could ever been.
November 2, 2016
If you're reading this and you're not happy right now, you will be. I'm not sure though what you are going through. I don't know how hard these past few days have been to you. I'm not sure if you're hurting right now 'cause I don't know how painful your current situation is.
I'm also not sure how down you are after getting a lot of discouraging words from people you value the most. I don't know how you take it. But what I'm sure of is you will get over it. You will get through all of these things. You'll do good. Things will get better and so are you. No matter how dark it gets, life will be brighter.
And one day, I'm sure, you'll look back on days like these and you'll smile, laugh even. And it'll hit you. You turned out just fine.
What I Wore
Okay, so this is what I wore when I felt all the blues in the world last week.
Off-shoulders are making a scene now so it's quite hard to stand out when wearing one because they all look almost the same. So when I saw this white off-shoulder top from Shein, I just can't help but squeal a bit because it's so cute and girly. In short, it's so me!
Isn't it cute? I love how comfy it is when worn. And the ribbon straps just make you stand out from the crowd. I think I'm gonna abuse this for a long time!
So, what do you think of my look? Let me hear your thoughts! I would really appreciate all your comments may they be good or bad. PS. shout out to my good friends, Charm and Gio for these great photos! :)
June 5, 2016
Hey,
I know you are going through a lot these past few days, weeks even. You've been crying every night and wake up each morning with a smile, trying to hide those midnight memories behind your back. Everyday, you wear a mask to hide all the pain and rejections that constantly break you into pieces. Everyday, you say you're fine but the truth is, you're not. You are a fragile woman who just wants to be appreciated or taken care of.
But know this, you are a lot stronger than you think you are. In fact, what you are doing just shows how bold and tough you are. After everything you are going through right now, it will all end eventually. And one day, you'll look in the mirror and say "Girl, you are worth it. You always are."
Love,
Yourself
It's been quite a while since I last posted and boy the weather is getting hotter and hotter! So, this time, I opt for something light and cool to beat the heat. This is something I'd rather wear whenever I don't feel like dressing up. Sometimes, okay most of the time, the struggle is real in choosing what to wear. :)
What do you do when you feel like giving up?
Share me your thoughts and tips on how you overcome it!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
March 27, 2016
Hey,
I know it's been hard to be you these days. Your boy just cheated on you. You lost the competition you've been preparing for months. You got rejected from the job interview you've been waiting for. I get you.
You tried so hard and failed. Yet, you keep trying. And failed again. It's like you keep doing the same things to end up with the same result. But, no. You're trying because you want to get somewhere. I get you.
So what if you've failed many times already? It doesn't mean that you're useless and not worthy of the things you think you deserve. If you've been rejected, that means you're meant for something greater. Find it. If you've ever felt unsure of yourself, that just means you have big dreams. Don't stop. Just keep going. Get lost... It's okay to be lost sometimes.
The world seems to be tougher on your side. It will not always be on your favor. It will not always give you what you want. It will give you lots of struggle. It will make you cry even harder. But you know what? The world just made you tougher, too.
Maybe you don't know it yet. I think you're just oblivious of the thought that you are stronger than you think you are. Maybe you don't have everything figured out just yet so for now, do what you love doing. Keep baking. Join the singing team. Dance the night away. Act with your heart. Or maybe start writing the story that has been on your mind for months. Find someone whom you can do these with. Someone who will support you. Someone who will cheer you up whenever you feel down. I'm sure there is someone that is willing to get you company. Someone who won't give up on you... even if you already have.
Go out there. You'll be just fine.
Love,
Yourself
What makes you stronger? What keeps you going?
Share me your thoughts on the comment box below and I'd be so happy to know your dreams and goals. :)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
January 17, 2016
Maybe one day,
You'll find a way
To let the pain in your chest,
Begging you to escape,
Be heard just once.
Maybe one night,
You'll find the light
in the path you're taking now.
The path you chose
Yet so unsure.
And maybe one day,
You'll realize,
That you made the right choice.
Just maybe.
Here I am having ate night thoughts, again. How about you? What are you thinking of right now? :)
Top and Pants from Forever21
December 27, 2015
After more than four decades of waiting, the Philippines has come to reach its most coveted victory in the Universe. It's been a week already since Pia Wurtzbach was crowned as the Miss Universe 2015 yet, most of us are still not over with it.
It took her three attempts to bring home the crown that every beauty queen is aspiring for. From her first try to join the Binibining Pilipinas in 2013, she ended up as the first runner up while on her second try in 2014, she went home with nothing. But this year, Pia proved that third time's a charm because she bagged the title Binibining Pilipinas-Universe. Meaning, she will represent the country in the most prestigious beauty pageant in the universe.
Knowing her story, I realized something. Successful people are the ones who know what they want and do something about it. For Pia, she wanted the crown so bad that it didn't stop her to chase her ultimate dream. Look at where she is now, the elusive crown is on her already. Because of her good example, she has inspired many people. And I have to admit that, I am, too. With her journey to victory, she taught me some things:
Knowing her story, I realized something. Successful people are the ones who know what they want and do something about it. For Pia, she wanted the crown so bad that it didn't stop her to chase her ultimate dream. Look at where she is now, the elusive crown is on her already. Because of her good example, she has inspired many people. And I have to admit that, I am, too. With her journey to victory, she taught me some things:
September 5, 2015
They say, when you start working straight from college (I mean really straight), everything will go on and on and on... and on. You will not gonna experience so many things that your college buddies who chose to take a time off first before working.
That sun-kissed tan from the beach... that DIY workshop you've been wanting to attend to... that "me time" somewhere while reading a good book... or those days spending for your blog. Oh man, you're gonna miss these so bad.
When I was in college, I had the urge in my vein to work already after I stepped on that center stage. And fortunately, I was offered immediately, even before I graduate, to work in a prestigious company that everybody (okay, most) in my field dreams of.
On my first day, I was this excited girl who can't wait to see her own desk and meet new people from a not-so-strange environment. First few weeks has gone by so fast. But the succeeding weeks, the demanding schedule and tasks followed me. I realized, what people keeps saying about working after college is true. Once you're trapped in your chair and computer, you no longer have the time to do the things you want like before. No time excuse has become my usual line whenever I'm asked to hang out.
Heck it's hard to work.
I've been in this stage where I really want to stop for a moment and... go home. Every time I tell this to people, they always advise me to take a break. It sounds easy but it's really hard to do. Knowing that our schedule should be flexible and we're not tied to a strict Monday to Friday, 8:00AM to 5:00PM, our work really demands us to be in the office 24/7. I am not overreacting. Literally, 24/7. And I know that. Life in Media is very demanding and most of the time, exhausting. #TheTruthAboutOurWork
Although it's not easy for me to juggle every single day away from my family and the things I love, at the end of the day, there is something that is pulling me to stay still. My dreams. My goals.
Whenever I feel down and unmotivated, I always keep myself thinking what led me here and followed by why am I here. My dreams and goals keep me going through that tiny hole of the needle. And even if it's really hard, I have to be strong and positive to keep going.
I have to work hard to play hard. I know it's hard at first but eventually, everything will pay off.
No one made a difference by staying in their comfort zone.
The girl once said hi to the world,
It asked her,
Was it nice to meet me?
She answered,
Of course! I'm so glad to meet you!
She answered,
Of course! I'm so glad to meet you!
July 19, 2015
Let me start this with a catchy line from the oh-so-famous-young adult book-turned movie, The Fault in Our Stars:
"If you want to see the rainbow, you'd have to deal with the rain first."
So why did I come up to this thought? Well, as quite obvious as it may seem, that is how I am feeling as I write this after I watched the film. Again. Or so I thought.
There was a time when I caught myself staring blankly at the window beside my desk, watching the cars down pass by and observe the rusting roofs from above. Few minutes has gone by, still, my mind wanders everywhere. To my dismay, I found nothing but emptiness. I realized, I'm in a room where everyone calls it a "home" but not really there, then I found myself lost.
Maybe it's something I have to get through and I know, there's something out there that will lead the way to that rainbow.
Even now, I am not pretty sure where this post is going so I'd have to admit that this has got to be one of the non-sense posts I have ever made. See how lost I am? I can't even make a decent article to begin with. So I have decided to just focus on my outfit, which a "fashion blogger" is expected to do, right? I somehow hate to say that. Haha!
I wore this during the Us the Duo Tour in Manila to do my good sister duties by accompanying my sister who's drooling over to see them. If you happen to know them, then good for you. If not, (a little) shame on you dear. 'Cause, how could you? They are the two awesome persons from different sides of the world pulled together by their love for music in which leads them to becoming best friends and turns out, after some years, husband and wife. Just search them, please.
Anyway, I can't believe I pulled out this jacket from my closet after a long time. Would you believe that this jacket has been with me for 10 years already? I folded its sleeves because obviously, it's bitin. Haha!
Old Denim Jacket | H&M Top | Forever 21 Boots and Pants | Calvin Klein Bag
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